This fear always grips me when I stand up in front of the crowd,
will they scurry?
Will they tell me to hurry?
Well, not today, because it seems that everyone’s outside having fun,
yeah, they’re all out there enjoying the sun
and meantime I have to take refuge behind the shades in my room,
there is a trace of impending doom that I can smell in the air.
It is pungent
and I stand here at this pulpit
pleading for your help.
This scent of dead petals is everywhere
inside of me,
there is no death to be found in the meadow
outside of me, because the world spins ‘round still without a sound to declare that I am stuck here like roadkill.
“What are you doing,” they say,
“why don’t you come out and play?”
but they don’t know that there’s something brewing inside of me,
something I need to be doing inside of me,
if I wanna do right by you,
and I wanna do right by me,
I’ve noticed this is no longer about collective identity,
no, this is about dissecting my integrity,
about establishing my own sense of dignity
and I know it’s tough to resist our affinity
for those finicky, jumpy gestures you would make when I tickled you,
and all those other things that I would do to you,
do for you,
every way that I would explore you.
It’s all gone right now.
I ask myself how could this be
just two weeks ago you were with me,
but now I feel that this space is too cramped for you and me,
Now I feel like I need some time for me to see:
whether you and me are meant to be.
People like suggesting and insisting,
“don’t go contesting general thought,
we know it’s hard, but try resisting”
But do you know?
Do you know how I feel right now?
Can’t you see this is a matter of life and death in love?
They say “don’t get derailed, man,
your love failed, man,
just sit back, pop one, and enjoy the ales, man.”
But they don’t see what I see,
they don’t hear what I hear.
These questions seem to resound only in my ears.
What life am I supposed to lead right now?
Should I take back the love I had, or is it something I’m supposed to leave now?
Will I ever be sure that I don’t want to take it back?
And do I really need to wait for another partner in this dance, ‘cause I’m really diggin’ this 8-track.
This song’s gonna end at the 4-minute mark,
I know that,
there’s no way to slow that down, but does that mean that we have to go right now?
Should I walk away, knowing that there’s a sweet kiss of death at the end of this melody?
Or should I just keep slow-dancing because there’s no chance in hell that I’m letting go of this girl’s hand,
I just don’t understand why it’s right for me to let go.
Is dancing not the same anymore?
Is love not the same anymore?
Did they change it while I was sleeping?
am I still not awake?